oh(so)positive

Slug, one of my biggest influences in life.

Life, love, stress, and set backs.

Anytime I come across a new pen, I always perform a simple test. It’s not one that could even really be considered as a test, but it is something I do. I would call it a habit more than a test, I suppose.

Maybe it’s just because I still prefer writing to typing - in whatever kind of environment.

Writing allows me to convey more thought and emotion, easier.

I grab the pen and simply write out the following question: How well does this pen write?

That’s it. Usually it will tell me immediately if I am going to like it.

I prefer the Jetstream .07 pen made by UNI. It writes very well and very smooth.

Why is that most will say they do not care what others think - that their opinion really does not matter? In reality, I would say that it is human nature to care what other people think.

I can tell someone that they should not allow others opinions dictate their actions, how they live. I can tell them that it really does not matter what anyone thinks, that it is up to you what to make of a situation. I can tell them that others judgments are null because they really make no difference. It is very easy to preach these things; yet, in the back of my mind, I am questioning why I would say something that I do not necessarily believe.

I would say that it most likely has to do with a yearning for acceptance and understanding. That is a personality trait that anyone will carry.

I do not generally care about an opinion one may have on myself. Is that contradictory?

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Lately I have been having very eerie dreams. Almost surreal, almost lucid. They seem to have a recurring theme, too. When I say that, they generally include the same people with different situations.

One recurring topic is my grandfather. I was very close with him. I would like to think that I still am. Most in my family would say that I was his favorite. I don’t necessarily doubt this, I just think I cared the most. The dreams have been, as I said, almost surreal and lucid. Very strange. I miss him very much. He was a big part of my life - the closest thing I had to a real father. I think that I am very much like him.

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Late winter snowfall that caused 90% of the power in the city to go out. It is an eerie photo, but I like it. It says something to me. The only lighting is that of a street light. When I stepped out, the light reflecting on all of the snow made it brighter than it should be.

I miss the solitude of summer drives. With the sun high and a long highway. No destination in mind, just driving. Windows down, of course - wind blowing everything around. Music screaming loud through every speaker with each song matching your mood. The heat enough to warm your heart, your soul.

Soon.

One of the more trippy videos I think I’ve ever seen belongs to Yeasayer’s new single “Ambling Alp.” Well, the song has been out for a few months but the album dropped yesterday. It’s a great album, too.

The song is great. I really, really like the production. I like the subtle, but sooper-dooper bass line. It’s a perfect touch. Plus with this new album, there is a lot less crooning than “All Hour Cymbals.” Some will like this, some won’t. I’ve even read a review saying it’s too poppy. Nope.

This video will melt your face.

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One of the most sincere, soulful portrayals of any song I’ve ever heard. I can’t stress how much I mean that.

In listening, you can hear his heart and soul pouring out through his words. I found this in December, and someone just linked me back to it.

I realized again how amazing it was and how much it meant to me.

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being open is not an attribute i can say i possess.

i don’t necessarily think it’s one that i don’t want.

i just think it’s something i never had.

anyone will open up to me; well, almost anyone.

but i can’t say that i’d do the same to them.

i’ve had a lot of friendships.

they’ve all went different directions. for better and for worse.

i still value what i’ve learned through each of them.

and i wish i still had them all.

but people change, as do i.

i don’t do well with change.

but i do love my friends.